Sunday, November 14, 2010

Flashes


My memory plays tricks,
Upon my shallow vision -
Images play over ticks
Of the clock's impositions.
Sudden moments when
I see you as you were -
In the throes of the sense,
Of touch you'd never felt before.

Odd it is that I still feel
Some of the sensations from before -
A sense of warmth and
A surge of affection, unprepared for.
You're there, oblivious -
To the consternation you cause;
And all this happens
As you puzzle through some strange clause
In books of law that
None would ever want to read -
In a pall of boredom
A sense of longing doth breed.

No sense in madness -
My rationale returns,
Fuck the sadness, it says -
In a voice that's very stern.
Move along now,
There's nothing to be seen -
And even if there were,
It's somewhere you've already been.
No good can come of
These baseless insinuations -
That time has passed,
Beyond your initiation.

So live without your memories, old man.
You'd be better off without -
For in this haze of regret and woe
Your shallow peace may drown.
Too much time has passed for the spark
To recover it's heat -
It's best to write this elegy,
And quietly retreat.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Trepidation


Thoughts form and break away. There is no longer the certainty. There is just fear - the eye of the mind searching the horizon frantically, looking for signs of danger that may or may not be there; but the trepidation forever exists, for the invisible always represents the unknown, which is to be feared. But worse than such an abstract note of caution struck by what might even be reasonable thought would be the impulses of irrationality that stream through you at moments of conversation, where you aren't sure what's real and isn't. Sometimes, what you hear sounds too good to be true; and then, you wait for the other shoe to drop and some misfortune to befall you. There seems to be a lack of an ability to appreciate the good things, because being skeptic (and let's be honest - this world gives you a lot more to be skeptical than optimistic about) means that such enjoyment is curtailed.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What a world it would be,
If only we could see -
All those things intangible,
Would it make it more manageable?
I'd see the stormy clouds of your mood,
The lightning of your thoughts as you brood
What you consider to be my indiscretions,
That come across to you as condescension
Of the time we spend together, across the paths
Laid out by wires and not really through art.
Or the bleeding red of my heart.
Or perhaps we should speak
Of the things that are indiscreet -
The empty plots of the lack of words -
The vacuous silence of moments awkward,
Following which you unleash
The moods that make me beseech,
All the forces that be -
That I could actually deal
With the distance that holds us apart -
Which only seems to make us spar
On matters which ought not to matter,
Like the idiotic words that patter
Out of mouths best left broken,
Given the hate they awaken.